


Aspersion

by cutsycat



Series: Dictionary.Com Word of the Day Drabbles [1052]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 17:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13792497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutsycat/pseuds/cutsycat
Summary: Tony has just joined NCIS, but nothing is as he expected it. What the heck is going on? Can Tony figure it out? Or will it not matter in the end?





	Aspersion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jane_x80](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [jane_x80](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80) in the [NCIS_Prompts_2017](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCIS_Prompts_2017) collection. 



> Another dictionary.com word of the day drabble. This time from 03/18/2002 for the word [aspersion](http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/2002/03/18/aspersion).
> 
> aspersion  
> A damaging or derogatory remark; slander.  
> The act of defaming or slandering.  
> A sprinkling with water,especially in religious ceremonies.
> 
> This was requested by jane_x80 as part of my 2017 prompt challenge. You can prompt me in 2018 [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/cutsycat_NCIS_Prompts_2018/profile) by clicking the sign up link.
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> Something weird is going on at NCIS. They seem to have been sold off from the Federal Government. The MCRT seems to be going off on a tangent, and did they spot the Avengers as part of management? Wait, or is the new agency being run by aliens or something? This is a disruption for Gibbs who is trying to woo Tony.
> 
> p.s. - "wood" being involved is highly recommended. :P
> 
> **End Prompt**
> 
> Pay attention to the tags... They're completely true... 
> 
> Additionally, when I was struggling to come up with a story for this prompt I shared it with many writer friends, in particular tardis_type40 who you may recognize as the cackling woman. She became part of this story because she and others just started laughing and were completely unhelpful in terms of finding a plot for this story.
> 
> As always comments, kudos, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.

# 

Aspersion

Had everyone taken opioids? Chaos surrounded Tony. He’d only just started at NCIS, but this didn’t seem like normal operations for a government agency.

A young woman, maybe 20, with light brown hair and blonde highlights, cackled so hard in a corner that tears poured out of her eyes. His boss eyed him lustfully and Tony had the strangest sensation that his boss’ thoughts were filled with wood. Oh and there was a redhead that loved telling him of her dreams of killing him in vivid description. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

Tony blinked and his boss, at least, returned to normal. No trace of lust anywhere in his eyes or in his crotch area, not that Tony looked. He’d been looking for a change since Wendy dumped him and he’d found out that Danny was dirty. 

When Gibbs had offered him the job with NCIS, he’d thought it was perfect. Cushy government job under a trustworthy boss, what could go wrong, right? Apparently, a lot, he’d found out on his first day that Vivian hated his guts because Gibbs had given him the SFA position and she felt she deserved it, hence the vivid descriptions of her dreams of killing him.

The fact that he was more skilled than Vivian and more deserving of the position than her, did not matter to Vivian. She continued to cast aspersions on him, anyway. That wasn’t the only thing going wrong on his first day, however. 

The background check he’d run on NCIS as an agency and the insider information he’d gotten from former and current employees to all appearances had not been thorough enough. There had been no mention of NCIS being split and sold. One side would be remaining under government control. 

They hadn’t released who was buying the other side nor why they wanted to buy any part of a government agency. Rumors were flying about crazily. Some said that Tony Stark had decided he needed his own investigative army and the government always needed money, so they’d sold off part of NCIS to Tony Stark.

Tony wasn’t sure what to believe. He couldn’t imagine why one of the richest men would need an investigative army. Nor could he understand why aliens or any of the other crazy rumors going around would be true. 

Tony hadn’t seen any sign of actual work happening since the announcement that more than three quarters of NCIS was being sold. No one knew whether they were going with the sale or staying with the side that would remain under government control. Secret meetings were happening with the director and management. 

Not even Gibbs was being included in these meetings. This bothered Tony. If his manager, didn’t know what was going on, what did that mean for him?

Not that they had time to be bored, Gibbs found plenty of things to do. Tony wasn’t sure why so many of them seemed to involve wood, however. Nor why so many of them required Tony and Gibbs to go undercover as a couple.

Vivian kept getting more and more pissed off with the strange cases that Gibbs led the MCRT in investigating and she finally left. Tony breathed a sigh of relief. Her desire to kill him had made for more than one restless night and he was glad to know that he didn’t have to worry about her stabbing him on a case anymore.

Not too long after that, the sale completed. Tony assumed things would settle down now, but they didn’t. In fact, Gibbs seemed even more pissed than normal whenever Tony tried to investigate any of the strange happenings that seemed to be associated with the other side. 

The MCRT had stayed with the government side, but their Director, Tom Morrow, had been replaced with a redhead, Jenny Shepard that Gibbs seemed to have a history with. Tom had transferred to Homeland Security rather than take sides in the split. Gibbs grew increasingly pissed as attempt after attempt at wooing Tony failed due to Tony’s distraction with the way things were being run on the other side. 

He didn’t understand why it was so hard to get a chance to sand Tony’s morning wood. He knew Tony found him attractive, but somehow Tony remained completely oblivious to the fact that Gibbs wanted him. The chaos from the sale had only made it harder to woo Tony. 

They’d grown closer through the undercover attempts, but Tony was starting to see through them. Only Tony wasn’t drawing the right conclusions. Tony had decided that all of these cases were somehow being given to them from the management on the other side. 

Tony had dived into investigating the management on the other side, so that he could prove the sale illegal and revert it. Tony hadn’t figured out that Gibbs was running unsanctioned ops with Tony in an attempt to woo him. Gibbs couldn’t figure out how to break the news to Tony.

In the meantime, Tony was positive that he’d seen Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye lurking over on the other side of the building. Right now, they were sharing the same building, but with doors to separate the two different sides. Needless to say, the doors weren’t much of a deterrent to curious agents.

Every chance he got, Tony would sneak over to the other side to see if he could find evidence of Clint Barton or any of the other Avengers. He hadn’t found actual proof, yet, but he had stumbled across what he swore was an alien. Gibbs had found him and dragged him away for yet another undercover couple mission before he could confirm that what he’d seen was really an alien.

Tony glared at Gibbs. He couldn’t figure out what was up with Gibbs nor what was up with the agency. Everything was super crazy.

Gibbs glared right back at Tony. “Haven’t you figured it out, yet?” Gibbs demanded.

“Uh. The other side of the agency is run by the Avengers or aliens. Possibly both. I haven’t found proof.”

“Not that.” Gibbs shook his head. “You’re missing something very obvious in front of you.”

Tony tilted his head and stared at Gibbs in confusion.

Frustrated beyond belief, Gibbs finally yelled, “I’m trying to woo you!”

Tony blinked at Gibbs in confusion. “Really?”

Gibbs barely stopped himself from banging the palm of his hand into his forehead. “Yes. I want to sand your wood. I want it to be your wood I work every morning. Whatever euphemism you prefer. Just let me fuck you.”

Tony never did figure out if it was aliens or the Avengers running the other side of what used to be NCIS, but he had to admit he didn’t mind the lack of management on the government side. It meant Gibbs and him had free reign to take off for nooners, or whatever, whenever they felt like it. They still had the best solve rate in the agency and aside from trying to convince them into a threesome with her, Jenny Shepard seemed content to ignore their relationship.

Tony wondered if she too was an alien. He may never know though. In Gibbs’ arms, he found it really difficult to care about anything other than Gibbs’ and his happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I'm looking for some writing buddies. Full details are [here](https://cutsycat.livejournal.com/53610.html). It is friends locked, so you'll have to add me as a friend on lj before you can read it. 
> 
> Also, Drakonyashka has translated a couple of my works into Russian. [Tutelage](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12378780) and [Imbue](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12378840). Go support them. 
> 
> My 2018 Prompt collection is now open [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/cutsycat_NCIS_Prompts_2018/profile). Just click the sign up link. ;)
> 
> If you are not an ao3 member, you can prompt me [here](http://cutsycat.livejournal.com/50701.html). Please follow the same rules as are listed in the above link. However, because this is a handmade prompt form(that thinks it's a poll), it is considerably more limited than what ao3 provides, so please use the ao3 form if you're an ao3 member. Please note the name option is for a name that I can say this is for so that you know it's for you. Since this is for non ao3 members it won't be true gifts, but you will be mentioned in the notes.
> 
> Feel free to leave feedback here if you think something could be improved(either in the prompt process or the story itself).


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